Too bad to be good, too good to be bad
by Rock-n-Roll Rebel
Summary: Bakura and Kaiba realize they're not as different as they thought... Not really yaoi. Rated M for language and suggestive situations to be safe.


Hi, everyone. Me again. This is slightly different from my other fanfic. Actually, this one is pretty crackfic-y. But there are some serious parts in it, too. I hope you guys enjoy it! And I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh... )-;

"You know, Yugi, I honestly don't doubt you being a pharaoh in your past life, what with that self-righteous attitude of yours!" Seto Kaiba commented scornfully from the Mutou's living room.

Yami looked positively shocked for a moment, then quickly regained his angry demeanor, "First of all," he pointed across the room to the sofa where his light, Yugi Mutou, sat, "that is Yugi. I am _not_ Yugi. How many times am I going to have to reiterate that before it sinks into that thick, conceited skull of yours?"

"At least once more, my Pharaoh," Kaiba said in a sickeningly sweet voice that dripped with sarcasm.

Yugi rolled his eyes. They were beginning to become a very mundane and tiresome thing, these fights that occurred between Yami and Kaiba. He was unsure why he invited Kaiba to come over every Friday night and he was even less sure why Kaiba always accepted the invitation. All he _did _know for certain was that every time Kaiba came over, war broke out between him and Yami.

"Why doesn't the bloody idiot just stay at home?" an attractive, deep and slightly accented voice queried from behind him.

Yugi turned slightly on his cushion to find Bakura, a bored and mildly frustrated look on his face, with a cheerful Ryou hanging onto his arm. Yugi guessed it was because Ryou was afraid to let him run loose in the room.

"Hey, Ryou. When did you get here?" Katsuya Jounouchi asked, mouth full of some type of snack food. He was sprawled unceremoniously on the cushion to the left of Yugi, putting away unhealthy amounts of junk food.

Ryou smiled, clutching Bakura tighter as he began to look around the room for some type of mischief to get into. His eyes lingered over the more flammable objects.

Bakura made an annoyed face and went back to concentrating on the fight taking place between Yami and Kaiba.

"We arrived about ten minutes ago," Ryou chirped in his soft, cheerful voice, "We would have said something sooner, but we've been enthralled by the tussle."

Bakura let out a snort, "You mean _you've_ been enthralled, landlord, not me," his tilted his nose upward in supercilious , "I have no taste for things that don't concern me."

"And _you're_ a liar, Bakura," Ryou said with a grin, "You _always_ have a taste for things that don't concern you," Bakura ignored Ryou's dead-on remark and Ryou continued the conversation with his friends, "So, who started it this time?"

Anzu Mazaki walked in from the kitchen just in time to answer his question, "Kaiba… sort of," she passed sodas to Yugi and Jounouchi, "But you can tell that Yami wanted to fight. What do you guys want to drink?"

"Tea, if it's not too much trouble," Ryou said, smiling.

"Bakura?" Anzu asked, a little cautious. She was always nervous when he came around, even if he wasn't hell-bent on destroying the world anymore.

"Beer would be fine," Bakura said absentmindedly, and Ryou sighed exasperatedly.

"You can't have any alcohol, Bakura," Ryou established, "You're not old enough."

"I'm five thousand years old!" Bakura assured, "Just give me a fucking beer!!"

"Your _body's _not old enough, then. No alcohol, Bakura," Ryou stated, deadpan.

"Feh," Bakura scoffed, but knew the cause was lost, "Give me a Coke," he sighed.

Anzu nodded, a small smile on her face as she headed back to the kitchen.

Ryou piped up again as the tempo of the insults between Yami and Kaiba steadily increased, "I still can't believe Kaiba comes over, even if it is just to squabble with Yami. He used to hate us, you know. I guess it's a step up if you really think about¾"

"No, it's not," Jounouchi and Yugi interrupted in unison.

Bakura huffed, finally over his brooding from the lack of alcohol he was going to consume tonight, "I don't see why the Pharaoh should get to have all the fun while I'm stuck here," he raised his hands in air-quotations, " 'behaving myself'. "

"And you know what I _really_ can't stand?!" Yami screamed raucously, "Those absurd gravity-defying trench coats you always wear! You look like Darth Vader! And yes, I just made a pop culture reference, and if you don't like it, you can choke on your own distaste, Seto Kaiba!"

Bakura nudged Ryou in the side and mouthed, 'Drama queen,' leaving Ryou barely holding in a fit of giggles.

"Like _you're_ one to talk about choices in apparel!" Kaiba retorted, deciding to ignore Yami's last drama-filled sentence, "Yours look like you painted them on! Could those _revolting_ leather pants _be_ any tighter?"

Bakura snickered and shot a derisive smirk toward Yugi, who blushed profusely when he noticed he was wearing pants very similar to those of his yami.

Yami, not being able to come up with a clever rejoinder, replied, "Oh, they could…"

"You sicken me," Kaiba sneered disgustedly.

Anzu returned and handed Ryou his tea and Bakura his soda.

"Thank you," Ryou said happily, British attitude dominating when he caught a whiff of the delicious Earl Grey.

"Mmph," Bakura grunted in approval, taking a large gulp of the sugary substance and inwardly laughing at the knowledge that he would be keeping Ryou up all night.

"I sicken _you_?" Yami asked, shaken, "How do you think you make me feel with your **stupid** hair and your **stupid** face and your **stupid**… stupidity?!"

"Sometimes it's okay for you _not_ to talk, fool," Kaiba stated, shaking his head in aversion, "But I forget how much you love the sound of your own voice…"

Bakura chuckled menacingly and took the last ridiculously huge swallow of his drink. Seeing that Ryou was rapt with his tea and no longer attached at his hip, he jumped over the couch to observe the fight more closely.

After about two seconds, before any of the occupants of the couch got a chance to protest, he turned around and noticed that Yugi was rather dazed. He followed the entranced boy's gaze right to the opening in Anzu's blouse.

His mouth gaped open a few seconds, then he smirked, 'So the boy has a pair on him after all,' he pondered, 'And here I thought he was leaning his affections toward Ryou.'

Yugi looked up, finally noticing the shadow cast on him, and Bakura, smirk still firmly planted, winked with a 'you go, boy' intent. Knowing he had been caught, Yugi blushed guiltily.

'The kid really is cute,' Bakura thought, turning back around, 'I suppose I can see why everyone likes him.' He folded his arms and continued to observe this seemingly endless row. He _was_ going to get in on this fight, of course, but he didn't know which side to pick. The clear choice seemed to be Kaiba, considering his obvious distaste of the Pharaoh, but he knew the ex-priest could also be quite the little prick at times.

"I _will_ be the world's greatest duelist!"

He caught a few lines from the fight, knowing that they belonged to Kaiba because Yami actually _was_ the world's greatest duelist. He decided to make his entrance, vowing to join neither side but simply to create general chaos. Ah, being recently evil really paid off sometimes.

"And how do you plan to accomplish that, _Seto_," Bakura taunted, knowing the mention of his first name annoyed him, "when you have not once beaten the Pharaoh fairly?"

While Yami stared at him in surprise for taking his side, Kaiba scoffed, "Why do you always insist on calling him 'Pharaoh'?" he asked mockingly, "Can't you people get it through your feeble minds that I don't believe in magic and past lives?"

Yami rolled his eyes, "If you don't believe in magic after all we've been through together, then you're a fool, Kaiba," he pointed to both Yugi and Ryou, "Do you think the tomb robber and I are just their brothers who _happen _to be twins and _happen_ to be older than them at the same time? If you do, you're denser than I gave you credit for. I mean, you've been with us since the beginning. You should know that we speak the truth by now."

Kaiba shook his head in the negative, "There's a logical explanation."

Bakura walked over and draped his arms around Kaiba's tall, thin shoulders, "Are you **stupid**, Kaiba?" he asked seriously, "Look," he gestured to himself and Yami to emphasize his point, "We used to live in ancient times. I was a thief…"

"Was?" Ryou asked pointedly.

"I am _trying_ to make a point, landlord," Bakura scowled, "Okay, I still am a thief, but I was an _ancient_ thief. Better?"

Ryou nodded with a grin.

"Anyway, I was a thief and he was a pharaoh, and none of your logic-solves-everything bullshit going to change that," he dropped his arms off of Kaiba's shoulders and murmured darkly, "And it won't change the truth about _your_ past either."

Kaiba shivered uncharacteristically, then straightened to full height, "You still didn't answer my question about why you still call him 'Pharaoh'. Is he your master, Thief King?" He smirked, apparently satisfied with his comeback.

While Bakura was nearly ecstatic at the mention of his true title, Kaiba's daftness was giving him a headache, "Seto," he said boredly, "what is it with you and that 'master/servant' business?" an evil leer crossed his face, "Do you and Jounouchi do role-playing games in your free time?"

Katsuya, who so far had been atypically quiet throughout the entire fight, was in Bakura's face in about three seconds flat. He grabbed Bakura by the collar and Yugi cried out in protest, seeing that things were about to become a little more serious than name-calling. Ryou held Yugi back and whispered that it was best that they stayed out of fights involving those four. Then he added that it was probably best that they stayed out of any fights that involved people with faces as scary as those four's.

"I'm not much for taking up for Kaiba, and I don't like getting in fights that ain't my business," Jounouchi spat venomously, "But if you even hint that he and I are involved like that, I'll pound you into Kuriboh food. Got it?"

Bakura easily broke Jou's hold and lifted him off the floor by his collar, "Let me make this clear, Jounouchi, and I'll say it in simple terms so even _you_ can understand: I will say what I want, how I want, when I want, and you won't do a bleeding thing about it," Bakura explained in a light, smooth tone. He dropped Jou roughly to the floor and heard him mutter something about how he was going to have to stop with that grabbing-taller-people-by-their-collars thing.

"Pharaoh," Bakura began, happily about to let more anarchy ensue, "Even though Kaiba has never beaten you, he has come mighty close," he put his hands on his hips, "The great Pharaoh and his prodigious priest set together in an eternal battle… it's all rather poetic, eh Pharaoh?" he snickered, "Almost as if you two were meant to be together…"

Katsuya, who was standing now, seethed angrily, "You're awful zealous with this gay love tonight, Bakura. Is this your way of finally coming out?'

Bakura simply chuckled, "And you, Jounouchi, aren't even a part of our ancient past. Haven't you ever wondered how you manage to keep up with Kaiba and the Pharaoh in every tournament? It can't be because of your great skill; Kaiba can attest to that," he glanced over at the brunette, who seemed to have realized Bakura's main goal for the night: creating disarray; and was smirking and shaking his head.

Mildly irritated that Kaiba had caught onto his little farce, Bakura continued to belittle Jou, "I'll bet Yugi wins all your battles for you, because everyone certainly knows that you've never been able to live your life without him."

"Now you're starting to sound like Kaiba," Jou muttered, hurt evident in his voice.

Hurt like that would have pleased Bakura when he was a little more sadistic, but now, having to bear the burden of humanity and their wretched feelings, it made him feel a little guilty. Opting that he had caused enough trouble for one night, he decided some humor was in order, "No," he corrected Jou, "_Now_ I'm Kaiba."

He whipped out his leather jacket to resemble Kaiba's trench coat, flipped a lock of hair between his eyes, stood tall, and assumed Kaiba's cocky stance. He took a deep breath and began talking in a deep, cold voice almost identical to Kaiba's, "Okay, Mutt," he said, doing one of Kaiba's dramatic gestures while pointing at Jou, "You sit at your master's feet, where you belong!" He whirled around to Yami, "And you! I will defeat you someday!" He closed his eyes and flipped his hair back, "And now…" there was a dramatic pause, "I'm off to jack off to my precious Blue Eyes White Dragon cards!"

The tension in the air, which until presently had been thick enough to cut with a knife, shattered instantaneously, and everyone except Kaiba, who just kept shaking his head, broke out into peals of laughter.

"Oh, it's charades that we're doing, then?" Kaiba asked with a smirk, "Then let's see if anyone can guess this one."

Kaiba messed up his usually neat hair with a swipe of his hand, creating chaotic spikes and pulled his trench coat tightly around himself. He gave everyone an evil look and began to speak in Bakura's accented voice, "Greetings, foolish mortals. I just wanted to tell all of you that you're all worthless unless I say so and will most likely be sent to the Shadow Realm or stabbed to death with any sharp object that is on my person if you remain in my company," his smirk turned into a heartfelt look, which was actually very becoming on him, and he held an outstretched hand to Yami, who had long since taken a seat by the couch and began stuffing his face with popcorn, "Oh, Pharaoh," he said in a dramatic voice, "I've always wanted to tell you since the ancient times when you were a _beautiful pharaoh _and I was a _great thief_… that I was a megalomaniacal, latent-homosexual!" he put his hand on his forehead and his fist over his heart for added drama, "Oh, why were we thrown back in this present time just to be pitted against each other as enemies? I just can't take it!" then he said blankly, "I also wanted to tell all of you fools that I have a split personality and a very serious case of psychosis and am just as likely to grind you up and have you with ketchup as I am to have a civil conversation with you. Thank you, and burn in Hell."

Claps and awe-filled whispers emerged from the crowd and Bakura stared at Kaiba with a kind of sideways smile, "That was very colorful for someone of your demeanor, Seto," Bakura commended, nevertheless a little annoyed at the little 'Pharaoh love' excerpt Kaiba had added.

Kaiba aberrantly returned the smile, "I have my moments, Thief King."

The night dragged on and by the time everyone had to leave, all stomachs were sore from laughter.

Jounouchi, Anzu, and Ryou bade Yami and Yugi farewell, and when Bakura was about to follow his light out the door, Kaiba beckoned to him from his spot on the couch. Bakura tilted his head in confusion and gave Kaiba a 'who, me?' look. He nodded and motioned with his head for Bakura to come over to where he sat.

Bakura turned to Ryou who was waiting patiently for him, "Landlord," Bakura began, "will you be alright walking home alone?"

Ryou furrowed his brow in puzzlement, and looked over to where Kaiba sat. Then his gaze flickered back to Bakura. He gave Bakura a very thrilled smile that made him wonder what his hikari was thinking, "Sure, yami, I'll be alright!" he said rather enthusiastically "Please go… and have _fun_."

"But I'm not..." Bakura began, but was interrupted by the Mutou's door shutting in his face. He rolled his eyes, muttering about how he'll never understand that boy, and walked over to where Kaiba sat.

"You want something, Kaiba?" Bakura asked, arms folded. He looked around. Yami and Yugi had already traipsed off to bed obviously not caring that they still had company, which surprised Bakura because himself and Kaiba were the ones likely to do the most damage.

Kaiba stood, "My car's outside. Wanna go for a drink?"

Bakura smirked, "Like you're old enough to drink."

Kaiba made his way to the door, throwing a dark chuckle over his shoulder, "I'm five millennia old, Bakura," he said, stealing Bakura's previous words, "I'll get a drink if I want."

Bakura followed, uncertainly, "I don't think they'll take that excuse at the bar."

Kaiba opened the door and headed to his car, "If that doesn't work, then I'll just tell them my name," he gave Bakura a smirk, "Or have you forgotten who I am to the people of this city?"

Bakura smiled widely and hopped into the passenger side of Kaiba's dark blue corvette, "Let's go, then!"

On the way to the bar, the car was filled with light, comfortable silence. Well, comfortable for Kaiba at least. Bakura was a fidgeting ball of nerves. He hated silence when he was stuck with another person. When he was alone, silence was fine. He had actually grown to like it, being in the profession he always had been. But despite his anxiousness, he remained quiet. Because let's face it, what could either really have to say to the other? 'I had a fun time tonight insulting you' or 'Wow, we really need to meet up at our mutual enemy's house again'? Bakura thought not.

A few more moments passed and Kaiba, noting Bakura's obvious discomfort, switched on the radio. It was on a classical station.

'Probably what he was listening to on the way over here,' Bakura thought with an inward chuckle, 'How surprising.'

Kaiba flipped the station to a rock channel and smiled when Foreigner's Hot Blooded began playing. He leaned forward and turned it up.

"_Well, I'm hot blooded. Check it and see._

_I've got a fever of 103. _

_Come on, baby, do you do more than dance?"_

Bakura looked at Kaiba in surprise, "Classic rock fan, Seto?"

Kaiba turned his eyes briefly toward Bakura, "What?" he asked, "You really think I listened to that classical _crap_?" he turned his eyes back on the road and made a right turn, "I'm not as stuffy as people tend to think."

"Care to tell me what it was doing on that station, then? Did it _magically_ turn itself there?" Bakura asked teasingly.

"_You don't have to read my mind to know what I have in mind._

_Honey, you ought to know._

_Now you move so fine._

_Let me lay it on the line."_

Kaiba rolled his eyes, "No, smartass, I was entertaining a potential client in this car. She liked classical music. Happy?"

"A potential client, huh?" Bakura asked, smiling wickedly, "Did you _entertain_ her well?"

Kaiba made a small sound of disgust and turned right again yet again, "She was 43 years old, Bakura."

Bakura laughed, "Like 'em experienced, eh?" he asked, slapping his knee as he did so.

Kaiba half-smiled, "Shut up, thief," he answered, turning the music up he couldn't hear Bakura uproarious laughter anymore. He began singing along.

"_That's why I'm hot blooded!_

_Check it and see._

_I got a fever of 103._

_Come on, baby, do you do more than dance?_

_I'm hot blooded, hot blooded!"_

Kaiba looked over to see a somewhat astonished Bakura, then that same wicked smile appeared and he joined Kaiba, drumming the dashboard to the beat.

"_If it feels alright,_

_Maybe you can stay all night._

_Should I leave you my key?_

_But you've got to give me a sign._

_Come on, girl!_

_Some kind of sign._

_Tell me, are you hot, mama?"_

Bakura stopped singing abruptly when he saw the bar they were pulling into. It was a regular, old run-down whiskey joint. Bakura had been expecting some kind of yuppie-scum place, and was quiet frankly nervous about it.

Kaiba turned the radio down and found a parking spot, "What were you expecting?" Kaiba asked with a smirk, "I wanted to go to a place where people knew my reputation, not my social life."

Bakura opened his mouth to speak and then let it gap open when he saw Kaiba was removing his button up shirt and trench coat and lying them delicately over the head of his seat.

"Uh, why are you getting naked, Kaiba?" Bakura asked, not really caring much if he did get naked. He was secure in his sexual preference, which was undeniably straight, and seeing other men naked didn't really bother him.

"I'm not getting naked," Kaiba said, a strange breeziness to his voice, "I'm dressing down," he pulled a black, slightly wrinkled sleeveless shirt from beneath his seat and tugged it over his head, messing up his hair a little. It had a white arrow pointing to his face and scrawled in white letters below it said, 'Need I say more?'

Bakura shook his head in admiration, "You come here often, don't you?"

Kaiba ran a hand through hair and grinned, "Every Friday night."

"And you've never asked someone to come before? No one knows about this furtive double life of yours?" Bakura asked.

Kaiba pursed his lips and shook his head, "No one except you."

Bakura arched an eyebrow, "And why is that?"

Kaiba opened his door, "Because you're like me."

Bakura climbed out of the car and shut his door gently, respecting the expense of the machine, "Meaning?"

Kaiba flipped his hair out his eyes again and a brief flash of sorrow shone in them. He looked toward the neon-flashing bar, "We're too bad to be good…" he brought his attention back to Bakura's questioning face, "but too good to be bad. We can't deny that we… don't belong. Not with them," he shook his head, trying to cover up the emotion he'd just let show, "Not like I'd want to or anything…"

Bakura thought about this for a moment, "We…" he started thoughtfully, feeling that same dismalness that Kaiba had let creep into his eyes wash over him. It was true. Pharaoh and his mates… they were pure. They were good. All snow-white and clean.

'I remember when I used to be pure,' Bakura thought forlornly, 'Pure, unadulterated evil. I can't be now because of this despicable mortal coil that Pharaoh forced upon me. Just because he found out how to make himself human didn't mean he had to go and make me one. This curse… it won't let me be a monster… and I can't be a man…'

"Well, we can always get drunk."

Kaiba smiled, "I think I like that idea."

"_I love rock 'n' roll, so put another dime in the jukebox, baby!_

_I love rock 'n' roll, so come and take your time and dance with me!"_

The black shirt Kaiba had walked into the bar wearing had ended up on Bakura's lap somehow and Kaiba had ended up dancing on the bar counter half-naked, singing the infamous I Love Rock 'n' Roll song by Joan Jeatte. If Bakura had known Kaiba would turn into a big slutty playboy when drunk, he would have slammed way more alcohol back by now.

He was leaning back in his chair, nursing his 7th shot of whiskey, not even tipsy yet. Kaiba had been gone after his second mug of beer, and well, that large fishbowl full of some expensive liquor that Kaiba had tried to impress Bakura by chugging. Maybe not the best thing to start off with.

'Still,' Bakura thought, watching the drunken man above him sway his entire body to the music, 'There's no way I'm going to let that lightweight have all the fun tonight. If I let this go on much longer, I'm going to have to start stuffing dollar bills in his waistband!'

He slammed his empty shot glass on the counter and gave the hefty bartender, who didn't seem to mind Kaiba's dancing and singing along with every woman or man in the bar that had eyes or ears, a cool glance, "Fill it up, bartender, and make it a triple. I'm getting bored watching Seto have all the fun and there's no way I'm going to top his performance while sober."

"My God, man!" the bartender exclaimed, impressed, "You've downed seven shots of my hardest whiskey and you're not trashed?"

Bakura gave him a smooth smirk, "I've had quite a long time to built up my immunity to alcohol. Now, a triple… if you please."

The bartender smiled and chuckled, "A long time? You don't look a day over 18, which I probably shouldn't say considering I'm about to give you something new I'm trying. It smashes most of the less… _experienced_ people within the first cup."

"What's it called and what's it got in it?" Bakura asked, a little intrigued. He noticed the song had changed and Kaiba was now dancing to Paradise City by Guns-n-Roses. He didn't know who on Ra's earth was manning the jukebox _or_ how they knew the type of music Kaiba liked _or_ where the _hell_ that microphone had come from.

"_Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls all pretty._

_Oh, won't you please take me home?"_

He _did_ know, however, that Kaiba had an attractive voice that he couldn't deny. It was rather intimidating. Or at least it would have been to anyone other than Bakura.

"Did you hear me?" the bartender asked.

"What?" Bakura said, snapping out of his daze.

"I said it's called an 'Inferno'," the bartender explained, "It combines various styles of alcohol including rum, vodka, Ever clear, gin, Jack Daniels, and Scotch."

'It's probably called an 'Inferno'," Bakura thought, 'Because that's what it's like throwing it up the next morning.'

"Hit me, then, bartender," Bakura said impatiently.

It took a second for the drink to be made, and Bakura was sure he saw the bartender throw in several more alcohol types than he had previously mentioned. When the bartender set down the glass filled with the strange, amber-colored liquid, Bakura began gulping it immediately. He didn't want to give himself time to actually taste the abominable drink.

He finished the whole cup in about 6 seconds, slamming it down with pride, "Didn't even affect me," he stated smugly.

The bartender gave him a strange smile and said, "That was the equivalent of three triple whiskies."

"Three triples?" Bakura repeated, suddenly feel very light, "Three triples… that-that's like… three times three is nine… whoa, nine singles… nine and triples… nipples… he he he!"

The bartender turned, a very happy smile adorning his face, to go help his other customers. With Bakura downing the equivalent of 16 singles, he wouldn't have to worry about the white-haired boy for a long time.

Bakura felt so…so… happy. Yup, happy was the word. He looked up to see Kaiba finishing the song and getting ready to come down.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Kaiba, my man," Bakura said, slurring a little, "Don't come down yet; this party's just gettin' started!!"

He climbed up, a little shaky on his stool, steadying himself with Kaiba's hip.

" 'Kura?" Kaiba questioned, hiccupping the first part of the albino's name, "What're you doing up here?"

"Just bringin' some life to this joint, Seto," Bakura explained.

Kaiba smirked, then gave someone on the floor a dirty look, "What are you waiting for, idiot? The end of the world? Toss the man a microphone, for God's sake!"

Two seconds later, a microphone was thrown up to Bakura, and even in his inebriated state he still had hands like a thief, so he caught it easily.

"What're we gonna do now, 'Kura?" Kaiba asked, rather liking the nickname he had accidentally given Bakura.

Bakura put his hands on Kaiba's shoulders and gave them a squeeze, "We're gonna live the crazy life," he whispered, and God knows that nameless guy on the floor must have had supersonic hearing or mind-reading abilities because the lights dimmed and the exact song Bakura was referring to came on the jukebox.

Kaiba gave Bakura a very uncharacteristic 'I'm lost' look, and Bakura smiled, "Just follow my lead, baby." He knew he was unquestionably wasted because he had just called Seto Kaiba 'baby'.

'Oh well,' he thought idly, then changed his look to one of sultriness and lowered his voice.

"_She's into superstitions._

_Black cats and voodoo dolls."_

Bakura turned rapidly, pointed to a smirking, and very impressed, Kaiba and smiled wickedly.

"_I feel a premonition… _

_that girl's gonna make me fall."_

Kaiba tossed his hair back and grabbed Bakura's outstretched hand, twirled him into his chest, then spun him back out. He held up the mike and sang:

"_She's into new sensations, new kicks in the candlelight."_

Bakura, still recovering from the spin, took a dramatic step toward Kaiba, then jerked his head in the opposite direction, while tapping his booted foot (and silently wishing he had one of those crazy hats to dip down over his eyes), and sang to the quickly gathering crowd:

"_She's got a new addiction for every day and night."_

Kaiba stepped up behind Bakura and sang:

"_She'll make you take your clothes off…" _

And with this, Bakura actually did shed his shirt.

"… _and go dancing in the rain."_

Kaiba finished this sentence, and Bakura did a risqué little drop to the floor, then slid back up Kaiba's front to sing in unison with him.

"_She'll make you live her crazy life, but she'll take away the pain…"_

After the two felt that people were beginning to stare at them like some beautiful gay couple, they ended the verse by throwing their heads back and screaming:

"_LIKE A BULLET TO YOUR BRAIN!!"_

They were both well-versed in all types of dancing: Bakura, because he'd being alive so long and Kaiba because, well, what _didn't_ Kaiba know?

They met eyes and proceeded to do a very attractive salsa-style dance to match the music, all of this while extremely intoxicated. Neither of them would have done anything like that, otherwise. Definitely not. Ever. Not even if one of them, who will remain nameless… let's call him 'Shmuckura'… was dared to do it while stripping at a Halloween party a few months ago. Nuh-uh. Not ever.

"_Upside, inside out,_

_Living la vida loca!_

_She'll push and pull you down,_

_Living la vida loca!_

_Her lips are devil red and her skin's the color of mocha._

_She will wear you out,_

_Living la vida loca!_

_Living la vida loca!_

_Living la vida loca!"_

After the song finished, Bakura and Kaiba put their clothes back on and stumbled out to his car.

"You're too drunk to drive, S-Seto," Bakura slurred, "We gonna sleep in the parking lot or somethin'?"

"You und-underestitate me, 'Kura! Anyways, the mansion's only half a mile away, so it's fine," Kaiba assured, turning the car on and zooming backward because he had shoved it into reverse.

Bakura gave him a look, "You always drive backwards, Seto? I wouldn't want to 'underestitate' your abili… um… abilitoos… wait… um, what was I gonna say? Aw, screw it, just drive!"

With that, Kaiba sped off to the mansion.

Bakura awoke to a wave a nausea. He quickly swallowed it down and smushed his face into the pillow, trying to remember the previous night. He recalled bits, and horrifyingly embarrassing pieces, of the night before, but nothing of great substance. All he knew now was that he felt sick and his head hurt like a Mack truck had took it's sweet time running over it… again and again and again.

'I wonder what Ryou's fixing for breakfast this morning?' he pondered to himself, turning his head a bit sideways so he could smell what was cooking. He smelled nothing, except… a faint smell of cinnamon and cologne. Okay, this was definitely _not_ his room. His room smelled exotic, like Egypt; nothing like this.

The thought of just opening his eyes and seeing where he was not yet occurring to him, he began to deduce the possibilities of where he could be. Ryou's room, maybe?

'No,' he answered himself silently, 'Ryou's room smells like jasmine. He's feminine that way.'

'Well. I _do_ remember being at Pharaoh and the runt's house last night, but… then I remember leaving with Kaiba… where did we go?' he wracked his brain for the pieces of the night he could retrieve, 'Drinking… okay, a bar…' still pondering to himself, he spread his legs to stretch a little. He paused when a warm leg touched his.

He smiled lecherously, 'I know what happened last night…' he thought, contented with the conclusion he had come up with, 'I must have found some smokin' little thing and brought her home with me.'

He opened his eyes, checked his breath, which was _seriously_ rank, 'Mouth closed, then,' he decided, and turned over to see just what he had scored last night. His mouth dropped a foot when he saw a sleeping brunette lying naked, besides the sheet covering their lower half, that looked remarkably like…

"SETO?!" Bakura screamed, unconsciously jerking the sheet, resulting in a _completely_ naked CEO lying before him.

"Mokuba…" Kaiba muttered sleepily, gripping the pillow and burying his face in it. The muscles in his back rippled as he moved again, "Will you go get some aspirin from downstairs? My head is killing me…" the blue-eyed boy's eyelids slid slowly upward and he took in the full sight of the naked albino. He blinked, and then…

"BAKURA?! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU IN MY BED? AND NAKED?" Kaiba screamed, jumping suddenly to an upright position.

"Gods!" Bakura said jerking his head away, "Cover yourself, Seto!"

Kaiba looked down and blushed crimson, which was a very unbefitting color for him, hence all the blue he always wore, and jerked half the sheet Bakura was hogging over himself.

He took a breath, trying to calm himself, "Okay, so we're both in my bed… and we're both," he grit the word out, "_naked_, so what THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE, BAKURA?!"

Bakura winced because hearing Kaiba's voice at 7:24 in the morning, _shouting_ no less, was not helping his hangover.

"Did you rape me?" Kaiba asked, calmer now.

'The only one who could be calm while asking if he'd been raped…' Bakura commented silently to himself.

"Most likely _not_," Bakura confirmed, rolling his eyes, "But I don't remember anything from last night except…"

"Lots of alcohol?" Kaiba asked, his face a little green-tinged.

"I don't care _what_ we done last night… okay, that's a lie, but I swear to Ra that if you puke on me, I will kill you so dead that you'll wish you…."

"Had never woken up naked next to you and threw up on you?" Kaiba asked, a smirk on his face, but it quickly faded when he remembered the situation they were in, "What did we do, Bakura?"

Bakura thought a second, "I'm not sore, and I don't see you bottoming for me, so we didn't have actual _sex. _It's possible that we might have…" he gave Kaiba a look that told him that he really _didn't_ care what they had done last night, "fooled around. That's the most likely scenario. It's over now, though…"

Kaiba ran his hands through his hair and sighed, "Then it's okay. As long as I don't remember, it's okay… just try not to remember it at all… anything…"

Bakura saw a shudder go through Kaiba and he tentatively touched his shoulder, "This isn't about last night, is it? You were not an evil person in your past, Seto. In fact, you were so good that it was a downright nuisance to me," he said softly, "So stop trying to repress it so much. If it makes you more comfortable, accept it, then forget it. You're not saving the world anymore, and Yami's not here to goad you about it. Don't worry so much about everything. We only have so long to live, you know…"

Bakura expected Kaiba to shove his hand off and throw a stinging retort, but instead he looked up with a little half-smirk, "That almost sounded like genuine concern, Thief King," Kaiba teased, "You're not going soft, are you?"

"Never," Bakura huffed, and scooted off the bed, nudity and all.

"B-Bakura!" Kaiba exclaimed, "W-What the hell?"

"I'm looking for my pants…" Bakura said indolently, "Aha!"

He pulled his pants on and zipped them, "Seto," he said, not looking at him.

"Yeah?" Kaiba asked, worried by the tone in Bakura's voice.

"I do remember something you said last night…" he chuckled, "… before we got so fucking drunk that we tore each other's clothes off," he shifted his eyes quickly over to Kaiba, "You said that we were too bad to be good, but too good to be bad…"

Kaiba looked away, "Yes, I remember, Bakura."

"Well," Bakura began, "You were right. We can't be good like them… no matter how much we stay in their company," he said pointedly, staring hard at Kaiba, "That's just the way we're wired. And we can't be as bad as we'd like because we're human and we have human emotions. Don't force it, Seto, find your balance and stick with it. And even though we can't be like them," he turned from Kaiba and said quietly, "It's a reprieve to be surrounded by them, even if all we do is fight. One day, the evil might find us again… or maybe good will consume us. It doesn't matter because we'll be punished one day anyway. But until then, we are who we are."

"Yes…" Kaiba said, "I'm know that you understand, Bakura…how it hurts. Every time I remember my past and recall the evil things I've done… I let Blue Eyes," he cleared his throat, "I let _Kisara_," he corrected, "die. For me. What kind of man am I to come from a background like that?"

"Don't begin to talk to me that way!" Bakura whirled around, suddenly angry, "How do you think I feel everyday with all the wicked things I've ever done, and let me remind you that they were not few, bearing on this soul? This bleeding, _human_ soul?!"

"Were you not human when you committed the evil deeds of your past as well?" Kaiba asked.

Bakura chuckled bitterly, "Boy, my mortality died the day that bastard uncle of Pharaoh's slaughtered my family. I haven't been human since I was 8. Every breath of humanity died in me that day. I've killed so many. And I feel them all. I remember them all. So you couldn't protect one damn girl. Big deal. Her spirit has forgiven you. She was never even vengeful with you; she died for you. She's with you every time you pick up her card."

"Blue Eyes," Kaiba murmured.

"Yes. So, Seto, whenever you're feeling despondent about not being able to rescue that girl… your past love," he chuckled, resentfully, "Just think about me… and the thousands of souls on my hands. Just remember that… and I guarantee your guilt will diminish."

"I'm sorry, Bakura," Kaiba said softly.

"My life's so screwed to Hell… don't worry your potential-filled head about that. I'm too fucked up to be fixed. And Seto? Next time we have a meaningful conversation, let's try to be fully clothed and sober, yeah?" Bakura said lightly.

Kaiba smirked, "I think I can handle that condition quite well."

"Then I'll see you at the Pharaoh's next week, same time?" Bakura asked, "I think I'll walk back to my house. It's not far."

"I'll be there. And we'll give Yami a little surprise."

Bakura smirked, "Oh," he said, stopping at the door and holding up Kaiba's black tank from the night before, "May I wear this home?"

"I suppose," Kaiba said, rolling out of bed, not giving a damn if Bakura saw him naked or not. He pulled on his pants, "But why don't you just wear your own shirt home?"

"Because," Bakura said with a sigh, "I just found mine on the floor and all the buttons are ripped off," he looked over his shoulder at the steadily-turning-red brunette and smirked, "Such an animal you are."

Bakura ducked as a particularly large book came flying toward his head, "That could have killed me!" he exclaimed with mock terror.

Kaiba sighed, "You forget that I don't have that type of luck, Thief King."

The following days flew by and Friday rolled around again.

"I suppose you came just to pick another fight with me, Kaiba, is that it?" Yami asked, flittering over to Kaiba as he walked in the door.

Bakura and Ryou, as well as Jounouchi and Anzu, were already there.

Kaiba looked over Yami's head and gave Bakura a nod of greeting. Bakura smirked and nodded back.

"Are you even listening to me?!" Yami exclaimed, trying to get his attention, "I asked if you came over to fight."

"And notice how I'm not answering you?" Kaiba asked and strolled smoothly over to where Yugi sat. He pulled him up and wrapped his arms around him, "I just came to see my Yugi-baby."

Yami's eyeballs just about popped out of his head, "Your _what_?" he screamed, taking long strides over to the two, "My hikari doesn't like men," Yami said proudly, "I already checked."

"Oh, was this when you asked him out and he denied you?" Kaiba asked slyly. He had gotten _that _little piece of information on the phone with Bakura the night before.

"Yes! I mean, no… I mean…" Yami stuttered.

"Doesn't like men, huh? That's not what Jounouchi told me…" Kaiba said trailing off, "But that's none of my business…" he sat down beside Bakura and they chuckled evilly.

"Wait just one _damn_ minute, Kaiba…" Jou began.

"You… and Yugi?" Yami asked, a little angry.

"No… wait, you _believe_ that guy?!" Jou began.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't!" Yami accused, "You and aibou are always together!"

"If you're going to be like that, maybe we _do_ have something going on!" Jou retorted.

"Now wait a sec…" Anzu cut in.

"I don't need your opinion, Anzu," Yami said sharply, "Everyone knows you're in love with him."

"Don't I get a say in this?" Yugi asked meekly.

"NO!!" the three shouted in unison.

"I-I'm going to go make some tea," Ryou said nervously, disappearing from the room.

The squabbling continued and Bakura whispered, "Didn't I tell you that it was more fun to _cause_ the fight than to be involved in it?"

Kaiba chuckled, "And you were right. But we should probably stop this before they kill each other."

"Why before?" Bakura whined.

Kaiba stood, "HEY!" he shouted and everything got quiet, except Bakura's snickering, "No one is sleeping with anyone. Yugi likes Mazaki, Mazaki likes Yugi. Jounouchi is still infatuated with that Mai Kujaku woman and Yami…. Well, he's just all alone. I just wanted to show you how easy it is for evil to come in and smother all the integrity you all have."

Bakura spoke up, "Don't let that happen, because since _I'm_ not evil anymore, there is really no good excuse for all of you to lose to anyone else."

"Keep all that mushy friendship crap you have…" Kaiba said.

"So at the end of the day we can still come to you for a reprieve," Bakura continued.

The pair walked to the door, "We're not like you," Bakura said solemnly, "We're too bad to be good."

"Thank God," Kaiba muttered under his breath .

"All the same, it's nice to see friendship-drunken fools like yourselves every once in a while," Bakura said cheerfully.

"It's nice to see people who aren't too fucked up to be fixed," Kaiba said.

"So stay that way," Bakura demanded, "Now, if you don't mind, Seto and I are off to get drunk and probably end up naked in his bed again…"

Kaiba nudged him hard in the ribs and walked out the door, sighing that he'd tarnished their little noble speech with something like that.

"Later, all!" Bakura yelled, laughing wickedly, leaving a mighty confused and perturbed bunch of teenagers behind.

Ryou popped his head back into the room, "So… what'd I miss?"

The End

A/N

Hope y'all liked it! Don't be mean in reviews, k? This is only my second story... And I'm sorry that the story didn't really have a point... lol!


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